This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
