What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
