one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
