My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
