i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize