why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
