Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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