The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
