omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think I sprained my soul last night
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
