i jhust puked up my retainher.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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