You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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