i need an iv and a liver transplant
I smell stomach acid.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
