I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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