guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
