Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
