last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
