My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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