I wannas sexs uuuuu
He uses pillows to masturbate.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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