I think my vagina is haunted
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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