I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
