I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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