wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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