He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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