Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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