The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
