So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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