Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
