she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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