And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
