I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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