I'm drive I can fine osifer
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
