Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
