yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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