I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
