Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize