How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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