My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
