Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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