so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
