I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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