I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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