She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
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Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
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And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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