Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
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Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
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If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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