After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
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The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just want to make out with him forever
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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