So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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