First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i dont even know how to be here
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You were trust falling into bushes
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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