Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
