He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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