i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
