i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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