Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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