yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
