"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
