am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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