HIV tests are more positive than that guy
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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