he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
