I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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