I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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