mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
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he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
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Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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