It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
