whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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